Life always seems to have a way of challenging our decisions, as if the Universe is testing us to see if we really mean what we say. My test came via email as I was eagerly and happily taking action to begin my coaching business, an email that triggered days of internal conflict and mental anguish.

The email simply invited me to an interview.  However, it was for a position, company, and location I was not interested in, I would once again be the square peg in a round hole if I got this job.  I made the decision to go because we should always explore and be open to opportunity; we never know where great things will come from. I committed to myself that I would end the process immediately if it was not a good match, even if my fear gremlin was saying”no job, no money, better find one quick!  Do you really think you can make it as a coach?”

During the interview, I did such a great job of rounding out those square edges, of numbing my inner voice so it would not cry out in protest, that my resume was passed on to the hiring manager for consideration. Instead of sticking to my commitment to end the process right then, I kept silent and spent a week hoping that they would not find me worthy of a second round of interviews.  Of course, the dreaded email came; I was invited back for additional interviews.

The next four days were filled with an anguishing internal battle between my fears about $$$$, security and the safety of the known versus the unknown; and my inner voice urging me to take the path that will lead me to happiness, a path on which I had just begun but from which I was already benefitting!  If I followed this comfortable pattern, if I landed this job, I would once again have security and my $$$ gremlin would be happy; but I would be miserable, professionally unchallenged, and stuck in traffic for three hours a day.

I am not alone in this.  At the gym this week, a woman in her late twenties told me that she and her friends had just been questioning how they had gotten to where they were.  Each of them is in a job they don’t enjoy, a far distance from the careers they had dreamed of, and many of them considerably unhappy.

How many of us are in this position? How many of us have a passion and a purpose that we have not honored?  How many of us have taken jobs we knew weren’t right for us? (Yes, we do have that feeling deep inside when things aren’t right for us, we just choose to ignore it.) How many of us have stayed stuck in relationships, not followed our dreams whatever they may be?

Why is it so difficult for us to stand our ground, to believe that we can create the life we want?    Why is it so difficult for us to make it happen?  Many of us are hostage to the safe familiarity of daily routines, the $$$$ gremlin, or perhaps we spend our time watching mind-numbing television,  but even more challenging are the assumptions we make, our limiting beliefs, our inability to say no, and FEAR.

FEAR can be crippling and prevent us from learning and growing.  As a child, I was incredibly shy with no self-confidence but longed to be an actress.  My lack of confidence and fear prevented me from participating in the school theatre groups. Finally, in my thirties, I became an extra in the chorus for Three Penny Opera produced by a nationally recognized opera company.  I was very excited; my dream could possibly come true! But after all those years of fearing to pursue my dream, I finally realized that I didn’t enjoy it. If I had faced those fears earlier in my life, I would have had more time to focus on finding my true passion.

By taking risks big or small, we open our world to new opportunities for joy and happiness. As kick-boxing was about to begin, a women asked about the class and I provided a description.  “That’s not for me,” she said as she started to run off.  “Why not try it?” I said.  She paused, and then made the decision to stay.  She loved it, and was grateful that she had taken that risk.  By resisting her immediate response, whatever it was that made her say no, she found something that she enjoyed.

So how do we battle these challenges, how do we change and begin the path of being who we want to be?   Scientists in the film What the Bleep Do We Know tells us that we can break these patterns.  We can start simply by interrupting them, and then observing.

Exactly what my kick-boxing friend did.  Exactly what my morning practice of meditation and yoga has proven to me. Now I am going to have the courage to replicate these small steps, interruptions, observations in other areas of my life so that I can face my gremlins. Now I am focused on being the square peg in the square hole.  I was presented with the prefect opportunity to do so, I graciously declined the interview.

What about you?  What risks (big or small) are you willing to take today to find happiness and joy?  Please share your thoughts and comments.

Laid-off. Shocking to hear those words. My world and structured life crumbling around me, with no more paychecks.  A bit overwhelming even though I knew in my heart this was a gift to reinvent my life.

Clean, cry, drink wine, rinse……repeat as often as necessary. This was the good advice of a colleague who said it was a great way to process what had happened.  She was right (although I went light on the wine : )

By Sunday night, with the awesome support of good friends and family, I had come to some decisions that I thought were right.  Based on the severance package, I felt I needed to spend half of my time focused on finding A REAL JOB, the other half honoring and building my dream.  I made this decision based partly on fear, and the thought that you never know where the gifts will come from.

Monday morning, I started with an early morning gym class and felt great.  Once home, I furiously began outreach to former colleagues beginning my search for a familiar job.  By 3:30, I had sent only one email to pursue my real dream (what happened to 50/50?), and I was miserable.  I went for a walk because I had vowed over the weekend to integrate that into my life on a daily basis. Walking is a joy and meditation for me, and I had rarely done it because I always put work, life demands, and everyone else first.

The sounds of the waves crashing on the lake shore, the fresh green leaves and grass, spring flowers everywhere, were renewing.  As I walked back home, I felt much better and enjoyed the beautiful mosaic artwork under the bridge, thinking that this amazing work had once been a thought, a dream in someone’s mind.

Into my head flashed the words shared by Sonia Choquette in a recent workshop…..”every building begins as a dream and a plan”.  In another flash, I knew I needed to devote all my actions to creating my dream life honoring my mind, body and spirit.   I am sharing that journey with you in the Red Chair Chronicles.  Thank you for joining me.


First steps, start small….I’ve failed in the past because I had a grand idea and because it was so big, so overwhelming, so intimidating I felt I couldn’t achieve it.  I finally learned by starting small, with achievable milestones, you have a better chance of success.  Throw a small pebble in the pond and it starts to ripple out and build energy of its own.

Honor myself with a daily morning practice – I had started small with a few affirmations, and some breath work, every morning.  I managed to do those few things for several months.  Now I am adding on just one yoga pose, the Dolphin, to build strength and flexibility. Mara Zimmerman a fantastic yoga instructor provided that idea.

Career Focus – We all have a unique set of talents,  and I am finally going to focus on creating the right situation where I can use all my gifts/talents to best serve the universe.  I’ve enrolled in the IPEC coaching program, and although not yet sure how I will use this program in my career, I know it’s the right decision.  Coupled with my communications skills, gift of high energy and ability to encourage and empower others, I am looking forward to where this will lead me.

Joy – We are truly meant to enjoy life and I did that so rarely.  I am committed to more dancing, singing, and other activities that bring me and others joy.

Acts of kindness –Whenever I can, I share a smile, a good word, a donation to make this world a better place.

Spirit – I will respect my spirit and tune into its guidance and the flashes of intuitition that are so brilliant, and truly lead me in the right direction.  (Like the one I mentioned above.)

Health – Making daily choices of good food and exercise.  Not so easy for me to do, but I’m working on it, one snack/meal at a time. Ok, last night I indulged in a chocolate chip ice cream sandwich, but mostly I’ve been good : )

Green – I will start being more conscious in my daily life about the things I waste.  Surely I can take the time to unplug my computer when I am not using it.  How many clocks do I need in my house?  Maybe I could just unplug the microwave when I’m not using it….Those are my small personal steps.  I’m also going to begin exploring the Green Community in chicago, there are a lot of interesting companies out there!  My guide is a good friend Nancy Goldstein who founded Compass X Strategy a brand and market strategy company and is actively supporting the passage of B Corporation legislation in Ilinois.

I am excited about this journey and where it will take me!  Thanks for joining and supporting me.

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